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Officials Say Public Has Lost Faith in Institutions, Which Is Rude
Officials say years of secrecy, corruption, incompetence, and selective rule enforcement hardly justify the public’s increasingly negative tone.
Aug 6
•
Justin Kamm
27
8
3
Simone Calls for Structural Change in Snack Distribution
The smallest sheep unveiled a sweeping economic platform built around fair wages, full troughs, and immediate access to rosemary Triscuits.
Aug 4
•
Justin Kamm
33
9
3
How Small Towns Grow the Pie, or Chase It Away
Small towns prosper when they help money enter the community and keep circulating. They struggle when taxes, fees, red tape, and local resistance drive…
Aug 1
•
Justin Kamm
25
3
1
July 2026
Committee Elects Subcommittee To Interpret Committee Intentions
The new subcommittee will spend six months determining what the committee intended before recommending the creation of a task force.
Jul 31
•
Justin Kamm
34
3
2
Wellness Desk Recommends More Silence, Especially From Men With Podcasts
Whitney says the national nervous system may improve if several men beside decorative microphones briefly stop explaining women, medicine, war, and seed…
Jul 29
•
Justin Kamm
28
8
3
Bruce Announces Fantasy League for Public Embarrassment
Players will earn points for disastrous hearings, leaked group chats, inexplicable tariffs, and every sentence that causes an aide to close their eyes.
Jul 27
•
Justin Kamm
35
16
3
We Keep Trading Freedom for the Feeling of Safety
From drugs and terrorism to immigration and crime, America keeps answering fear with greater government power. The result is a country that feels…
Jul 23
•
Justin Kamm
26
10
6
News Cycle Shortened To Length Of Average Panic Response
The flock received four constitutional crises, three tariff emergencies, and a possible world war before anyone had finished chewing breakfast.
Jul 21
•
Justin Kamm
35
8
4
Rules Suspended Until Rules Become Convenient Again
Officials assured the flock that America remains governed by laws, except during emergencies, elections, deportations, tariff announcements, and moments…
Jul 20
•
Justin Kamm
30
3
"Freedom Farm" Chapter 20 (The Final Chapter)
The morning broke cold and clear, a thin skin of dew stitched across the blueberry bushes and every blade of grass.
Jul 18
•
Justin Kamm
19
4
19:20
Influencer Announces Healing Journey That Will Require Audience Participation
The flock has been asked to respect one influencer’s privacy by watching, sharing, commenting, subscribing, and purchasing the magnesium powder…
Jul 17
•
Justin Kamm
33
5
3
Nation Mistakes Punishment for Problem Solving Again
The flock says America has once again confused making suffering less visible with making it disappear.
Jul 16
•
Justin Kamm
36
12
2
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