America Mistakes Authority for Expertise Again

America’s leading qualification for expertise continues to be standing behind the correct podium.

Fancy Pants announced today that America had once again confused being authorized to make a decision with knowing something about the decision.

“It is an easy mistake,” he explained. “Both people frequently wear jackets.”

The revelation came as public fights over health policy and artificial intelligence continued to feature elected officials, executives, scientists, doctors, engineers, lawyers, activists, and several people who had recently listened to a podcast.

Janet attempted to clarify the difference.

“Authority means you have the power to decide,” she said. “Expertise means you have spent years learning about the subject.”

Fancy Pants nodded.

“So the first person outranks the second?”

Janet closed her eyes.

Marvin said the problem has worsened because modern expertise is increasingly measured by confidence.

“If a virologist says, ‘The evidence suggests this, although we need more data,’ and a guy on television says, ‘I know exactly what is happening,’ guess who sounds smarter?”

Bruce immediately pointed at the television guy.

Whitney suggested Americans become more comfortable hearing the phrase “I don’t know.”

The pasture fell silent.

“That seems politically dangerous,” Fancy Pants said.

Simone proposed requiring anyone making national policy to spend twenty minutes speaking with someone who actually works in the field.

Janet added a written test.

The proposal was rejected after officials learned there would be questions.

By sunset, Fancy Pants had developed a compromise.

Experts would continue providing advice. Leaders would continue making decisions. And everyone would agree that whichever person had the largest office probably understood the issue best.

Marvin looked toward Washington.

“Good news,” he said. “We solved expertise.”