Working-Class Champion Addresses Intimate Gathering of Private-Equity Executives

The sheep were reassured that ordinary Americans remain the campaign’s highest priority, according to several extraordinary Americans gathered around a $12,000 table.

The sheep were encouraged today after a congressional candidate promised to fight relentlessly for America’s forgotten working families during a private fundraiser attended by 34 people who had never been forgotten by anyone.

“Washington has ignored ordinary Americans for too long,” the candidate told guests as servers quietly replaced the wine glasses.

F…