Simone Says If You Are Not Angry, You Are Not Paying Attention To Her

With groceries still expensive, the heat map turning theatrical, and the courts serving fresh material by the hour, Simone has clarified that calm now counts as a clerical error.

The sheep were informed this week that Simone has adopted a new standard for civic awareness, namely that if you are not angry, you are not paying attention to her.

According to witnesses, the announcement came during a routine flock meeting that had already been softened by higher grocery costs, threatening heat maps, and the general sense that the coun…