The sheep were alarmed Friday after discovering that another organization called Flock has spent years installing cameras across America and tracking where cars travel.
“We would like to clarify that this Flock has no affiliation with us,” Fancy Pants said. “Our surveillance program consists primarily of staring at the driveway.”
The announcement came as communities around the country debate automated license-plate readers made by Flock Safety. The cameras can record license plates and identifying vehicle details, allowing police to search a large network for cars connected to investigations.
Company representatives describe the technology as a powerful public-safety tool.
Marvin heard “large searchable database of everyone driving around” and began boarding up the barn.
Janet remained open-minded until learning that concerns have included improper searches, data sharing, and access by other law-enforcement agencies.
“So the convenient part,” Janet asked, “is that everyone gets tracked automatically?”
Fancy Pants explained that modern surveillance technology often follows a familiar product cycle. First, cameras are installed to solve serious crimes. Then the network expands. Then somebody discovers an additional use. Eventually, a privacy policy appears explaining that widespread tracking is safe because everyone involved has completed a webinar.
Whitney asked whether Americans could simply consent before having their movements recorded.
The technology appeared unfamiliar with the concept.
Bruce and Frankie were more enthusiastic. They proposed installing cameras throughout the pasture so followers could receive personalized recommendations based on where each sheep had been grazing.
“Marvin visited the clover patch three times today,” Bruce said. “He might enjoy a sponsored dewormer.”
Marvin screamed.
Fancy Pants sighed.
“For centuries,” he said, “the government had to follow you.”
He looked toward the camera on the road.
“Technology has made that much more convenient.”
Maybe you are missing a real money-making opportunity here. You can put cameras on all of the sheep and then charge a subscription to get a real-time sheep's point of view of the pasture. You can market it as a virtual wellness and serenity retreat, without the mud and associated muck.