Fancy Pants has been studying America’s technology billionaires and believes he has discovered an important economic principle.

Once a man becomes sufficiently rich, every personality defect is converted into a leadership quality.

Arrogance becomes conviction. Obsession becomes focus. Social awkwardness becomes genius. An inability to tolerate criticism becomes founder mentality. Buying influence becomes “having a seat at the table.”

The technical term for this is apparently visionary.

Fancy Pants first noticed the phenomenon while watching Elon Musk spend hundreds of millions of dollars trying to influence the midterm elections. Most people who spend $445 million and lose would be quietly removed from the casino by their spouse. Elon was described as having made a bold political bet.

“That is an incredible system,” Fancy Pants told Marvin. “If I lose twenty dollars, Janet calls me an idiot. If Elon loses several hundred million dollars, CNBC draws a chart.”

The flock began investigating other members of what Marvin calls the Council of Extremely Important Guys Who Would Like You to Know They Are Extremely Important.

There was Peter Thiel, whose worldview seems to involve looking at civilization the way a private equity associate looks at a regional plumbing company. Somewhere, presumably, humanity is being entered into a spreadsheet under “underperforming assets.”

Then came Sam Altman, who runs a company recently valued around $1.25 trillion while regularly explaining that the technology his industry is building could become extraordinarily dangerous.

Fancy Pants found this business model inspiring.

“That would be like me selling Marvin a chainsaw while repeatedly warning him that the chainsaw may eventually become self-aware and decapitate civilization.”

Marvin nodded. “How much is the chainsaw company worth?”

“One trillion dollars.”

“I would like to invest.”

Then there was Jensen Huang, who for years could walk into virtually any room wearing a leather jacket and immediately be treated as though Einstein had arrived to fix the Wi-Fi.

Huang resigned today as Nvidia CEO amid fallout from reports of two extramarital affairs and resulting national-security concerns.

Fancy Pants stared at the television.

“So the leather jacket finally stopped working?”

“Apparently.”

“I thought billionaires could do anything.”

Marvin shook his head. “There are limits.”

“What are they?”

“Two affairs and a congressional investigation, apparently.”

The sheep found this encouraging. Somewhere deep inside corporate America, a compliance department had finally located the emergency brake.

Apparently even visionary status has terms and conditions.

The flock realized wealth has created an entirely separate behavioral code. If Marvin announced that government regulation was preventing him from achieving humanity’s destiny, everyone would ask him to leave Tractor Supply. If a billionaire says it, sixteen senators schedule lunch.

If Fancy Pants spent all afternoon posting online about his enemies, Janet would confiscate his phone. If Elon does it, financial journalists call it a “volatile leadership style.”

If an ordinary man says he intends to reshape civilization, his family gently changes the subject. If a tech CEO says it, Goldman Sachs hosts a conference.

America has quietly developed a billionaire translation service that converts behavior into more flattering terminology.

Control freak: Product visionary.
Needs constant attention: Disruptor.
Buys political influence: Engaged citizen.
Believes rules are for other people: Founder.
Owns fifteen black T-shirts: Philosopher king.
Gets caught having multiple affairs: Leadership transition.

Fancy Pants finally understood why these men seem so invincible.

Everyone keeps telling them they are.

Politicians court them. Investors applaud them. Journalists interview them about humanity’s future. Employees sit through three-hour meetings about first principles. Entire cities offer tax incentives because a man wearing Allbirds has announced that he is “reimagining transportation.”

Eventually, a person might begin believing his bank balance is evidence that God personally selected him to redesign society.

Fancy Pants returned to the flock with his findings.

“So wealth changes people?” Marvin asked.

“Something stranger,” Fancy Pants said. “It changes what everyone else is willing to call them.”

Marvin considered this while chewing his hay.

“How rich do I have to become before everyone stops calling me an asshole?”

Fancy Pants looked toward Silicon Valley.

“Rich enough for them to call it a management philosophy.”

The Daily Pasture

Sheep Discover $100 Billion Is a Personality