Sheep Detained For Attempting To Enter Sauna Without Reservation

After one sheep was detained for trying to enter the sauna without a reservation, the flock began to suspect the country is now applying detention logic to every human experience.

The sheep were alarmed this week after one member of the flock was briefly detained for attempting to enter the sauna without a reservation, an incident Whitney described as “a chilling expansion of the national processing mentality into the wellness space.”

According to witnesses, the sheep in question, who for legal reasons Janet described only as “som…