The sheep reported today that America’s political class has entered a full-blown credibility crisis after discovering that voters have apparently been listening.
Fancy Pants noticed the problem while watching politicians from both parties explain that their latest misleading advertisement, broken promise, selective statistic, or conveniently revised memory had been “taken out of context.”
“That phrase is doing heroic work,” he said.
The timing is awkward. Confidence in major American institutions remains near historic lows, and campaigns are now experimenting with AI-generated political advertising, giving candidates the exciting new ability to say things they never said in videos they never filmed.
Marvin immediately saw the efficiency.
“Why lie personally when software can lie at scale?”
Janet began compiling a glossary of modern political language.
Misspoke: Said the thing clearly on camera.
Clarified: Polling was bad.
Taken out of context: Context available upon request.
Evolving position: Please stop finding old clips.
Deepfake: Increasingly useful answer to “Did you say this?”
Simone asked whether anyone could simply tell the truth. The room became uncomfortable.
Bruce and Frankie suggested rebuilding trust through a bipartisan reality show called Politician or AI?, where contestants watch campaign clips and determine whether the candidate actually said the words, later denied saying them, or was generated by software.
Fancy Pants remained skeptical.
“For years, everyone treated credibility like an unlimited natural resource,” he said. “Apparently we strip-mined it.”
By sunset, leaders from both parties issued statements promising to restore public trust.
The sheep read them carefully.
Marvin looked up.
“Do we believe this?”
Nobody answered. The statement continued.
Simome aks the question everyone wants the answer to.
Gotta love Janet more every day :)