Pasture Officials Ask Everyone To Lower Expectations To Preserve Stability

With prices still elevated, growth slowing, and public patience thinning, the sheep have been asked to support stability through the ancient civic ritual of expecting less.

The sheep were advised this week to lower expectations in the interest of preserving stability, after pasture officials concluded that the field would function more smoothly if everyone simply wanted a little less from life, leadership, and the snack bowl.

According to Fancy Pants, the new policy is meant to promote calm, order, and what he called “a mor…