Janet called an emergency pasture meeting today to announce that the latest national crisis could have been prevented by listening to Janet the first eleven times.
She arrived carrying a three-inch binder labeled I ALREADY SAID THIS.
The immediate issue was cybersecurity. American water systems have faced a fresh wave of attacks this summer, even though federal agencies have spent years urging utilities to change default passwords, secure internet-connected equipment, and generally avoid operating critical infrastructure with the digital equivalent of hiding the house key under a rock.
Janet flipped to Tab 4.
“Change the password,” she read.
Marvin looked concerned. “What was the old password?”
Janet stared at him.
“Password.”
Fancy Pants slowly removed his glasses.
Federal agencies issued another urgent warning this spring about hackers targeting industrial equipment at water systems. Similar warnings had been circulating for years.
Bruce asked why anyone needed multiple warnings.
“Because,” Janet said, “the first warning is apparently considered more of a suggestion for future regret.”
Whitney encouraged Janet to release her attachment to being right. Janet added Whitney’s name to a separate binder.
By noon, officials were announcing stronger cybersecurity measures, emergency reviews, new assessments, and several recommendations involving better passwords.
Janet quietly placed a document on the table. It contained the same recommendations. The document was dated 2024.
Fancy Pants asked whether Janet felt vindicated.
“No,” she said. “I feel tired.”
She closed the binder.
“Next meeting, we are discussing infrastructure maintenance.”
Several officials suddenly remembered another appointment.
I believe that even though Janet wrote Whitney's name down she knows she's right. Janet I'm tired too!
Crisis management at its finest. PS. This is why I don't buy "smart" appliances.