Janet Announces New Compliance Regime Known As “Listening To Janet”

With enforcement expanding across the country and patience thinning everywhere else, Janet has introduced a simpler compliance regime built around one elegant principle: listening to Janet.

The sheep were informed this week that Janet has unveiled a new compliance regime known as “Listening To Janet,” a governance framework she described as “streamlined, humane, and refreshingly free of interpretive drift.”

According to Janet, the system replaces the old model, in which sheep asked questions, explored edge cases, and generally treated guida…