He arrived expecting revolution.

He found Chuck Schumer and Hakeem Jeffries.

Fancy Pants took his seat across from them.

“So,” he began, adjusting his glasses, “the American people just fired a remarkable number of your coworkers.”

Jeffries nodded.

“It was a historic election.”

“Seven Republican Senate seats?”

“Correct,” said Schumer.

“At least thirty House seats?”

“Correct.”

“Texas?”

“Yes.”

“Kansas?”

“Yes.”

“South Carolina?”

“Yes.”

Fancy Pants stared at them.

“And after all that, the plan is Chuck and Hakeem?”

There was a brief silence.

Jeffries explained that Americans had demanded a dramatic change in direction.

Fancy Pants agreed.

“That is why I am confused.”

Schumer leaned forward and explained that Democrats now had a mandate to lower costs, restore accountability, conduct oversight, protect healthcare, defend democracy, and deliver meaningful results for working families.

Fancy Pants checked his notes.

“You have been in Congress since 1981.”

Schumer smiled.

“I have a great deal of experience.”

“That is certainly one word for it.”

Jeffries jumped in.

“America is too expensive.”

Fancy Pants nodded enthusiastically.

“Excellent. What is the plan?”

Jeffries began explaining that House Democrats were assembling a series of legislative priorities, working groups, committees, caucuses, policy frameworks, stakeholder conversations, and listening sessions.

Fancy Pants slowly lowered his pen.

“So groceries?”

“Affordability is our number one priority.”

“Housing?”

“Absolutely.”

“Healthcare?”

“Central to our agenda.”

“What happens first?”

“We are forming a task force.”

Fancy Pants looked directly into the camera.

Back at the farm, Marvin had been watching the interview on television.

“He traveled six hours for this?”

Janet shrugged.

“He enjoys trains.”

The strangest part of the election, Fancy Pants explained, was the sheer size of the message voters had just sent.

Millions of Americans walked into voting booths and effectively pulled the emergency brake on Washington.

Entire congressional delegations changed.

Political careers ended.

States that had reliably voted Republican suddenly elected Democrats.

The electorate picked up the table, flipped it over, smashed several chairs, and demanded somebody clean up the restaurant.

Washington emerged from the kitchen carrying the same menu.

Fancy Pants tried one final question.

“Imagine the flock replaced half the sheep because everyone was furious about how the pasture was being managed. Would it make sense to put the same sheep back in charge?”

Schumer considered this.

Jeffries considered this.

Fancy Pants waited.

A communications aide entered the room.

“We are going to have to wrap.”

Outside the Capitol, Fancy Pants called Marvin.

“How did it go?” Marvin asked.

“Historic.”

“Are things going to change?”

Fancy Pants looked back at the building.

“They are scheduling a meeting about it.”

This announcement followed reports that federal monitors are working across all 50 states while millions of Americans vote in the midterms.

Janet explained that election integrity involves trained poll workers, voter rolls, chain-of-custody procedures, paper records, canvassing, audits, recount rules, and eventually certification.

Bruce appeared disappointed.

“That is it?”

Janet nodded.

“Mostly paperwork.”

Marvin had assumed election integrity involved a dark room beneath Washington where thirteen people watched every ballot simultaneously.

“That would honestly feel safer.”

Fancy Pants reminded the flock that democracy contains an uncomfortable feature: people you strongly disagree with are also allowed to vote.

Simone called this essential.

Bruce called it “a major design flaw.”

Whitney encouraged everyone to regulate their nervous systems before refreshing results for the 400th time.

Across the pasture, Janet posted the official election-night guidelines:

Count every valid vote.
Follow the law.
Check the count.
Correct actual problems.
Allow the process to finish.
Try not to declare civilization over because your county is reporting slowly.

By evening, Fancy Pants conceded that election integrity is less exciting than television makes it sound.

“There should really be more lasers,” he said.

Janet disagreed.

“The boring part is the point.”

The flock fell silent.

Democracy, they realized, depends heavily on ordinary people doing ordinary jobs carefully, then accepting that the rules still apply when the result irritates them.

Marvin sighed.

“Fine. But I still want the lasers.”

“It is an easy mistake,” he explained. “Both people frequently wear jackets.”

The revelation came as public fights over health policy and artificial intelligence continued to feature elected officials, executives, scientists, doctors, engineers, lawyers, activists, and several people who had recently listened to a podcast.

Janet attempted to clarify the difference.

“Authority means you have the power to decide,” she said. “Expertise means you have spent years learning about the subject.”

Fancy Pants nodded.

“So the first person outranks the second?”

Janet closed her eyes.

Marvin said the problem has worsened because modern expertise is increasingly measured by confidence.

“If a virologist says, ‘The evidence suggests this, although we need more data,’ and a guy on television says, ‘I know exactly what is happening,’ guess who sounds smarter?”

Bruce immediately pointed at the television guy.

Whitney suggested Americans become more comfortable hearing the phrase “I don’t know.”

The pasture fell silent.

“That seems politically dangerous,” Fancy Pants said.

Simone proposed requiring anyone making national policy to spend twenty minutes speaking with someone who actually works in the field.

Janet added a written test.

The proposal was rejected after officials learned there would be questions.

By sunset, Fancy Pants had developed a compromise.

Experts would continue providing advice. Leaders would continue making decisions. And everyone would agree that whichever person had the largest office probably understood the issue best.

Marvin looked toward Washington.

“Good news,” he said. “We solved expertise.”

“Who makes sure people tell the truth?”

Fancy Pants stopped chewing.

He had answers for zoning boards, congressional committees, interest rates, and several kinds of hay. This one took longer.

“Well,” he said, “journalists check things. Courts examine evidence. Scientists test ideas. …

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“He had a complicated relationship with his father,” Fancy Pants whispered.

Everyone leaned closer.

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“They seem …

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